This happens in both personal and professional settings: People leave. They find new jobs, move, start their businesses, go to work for a competitor, or take their businesses elsewhere. It’s a natural part of life and work, but it can be hard not to take it personally. In professional situations, the temptation is to keep tabs on those who’ve left—to watch what they’re doing, compare, or stew over past wrongs.

Years ago, I faced a similar situation. I hired a lawyer to represent me in a lawsuit against a former employer who refused to pay me money he owed. I was angry and ready to fight. But my lawyer gave me advice that changed my perspective: “You’ll spend a lot of money and all your time focusing on this lawsuit. Take that time and effort and put it toward building your own business.”

Those words stuck with me, and I took his advice further. I decided not to keep tabs on former employees, clients, or even people who had wronged me and left on bad terms. I realized there was no value or growth in obsessing over them or watching their lives from a distance. Instead, I chose to focus on what I could control: building something better for myself and those who stayed.

Here’s why keeping tabs on people who leave your life—whether professionally or personally—isn’t a good idea:

It Drains Your Energy

Obsessing over former employees, clients, or even friends who have moved on takes up precious mental and emotional energy. Instead of focusing on what’s in front of you—your goals, team, relationships—you’re stuck living in the past. Energy spent looking backward is energy not spent building your future.

It Breeds Negativity

Watching people who’ve left your life, especially if it ended on bad terms, can create a toxic cycle of comparison, bitterness, or even resentment. You might find yourself rooting for them to fail, which is never a healthy mindset. Instead of allowing negativity to cloud your thoughts, focus on how you can thrive.

It Distracts from Growth

When you keep tabs on someone else, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. You may wonder, “Are they doing better than me? What do they have that I don’t?” This mindset keeps you from recognizing and celebrating your own progress. Success isn’t a competition—it’s about building something meaningful in your own lane.

It Blocks Forgiveness and Closure

Holding onto the past prevents you from moving forward. Keeping tabs on someone who has hurt or wronged you keeps the wound open, making it harder to find closure. True freedom comes when you let go of the need to know what they’re doing or where they’re going.

It’s a Poor Investment of Time

Time is one of the most valuable resources you have. Spending it worrying about or monitoring someone who’s no longer part of your life isn’t just unproductive—it’s wasteful. Instead, invest your time in building relationships with those who are still with you and believe in your mission.

What You Can Do Instead:

•     Double Down on Your Vision

Take the energy you’d spend watching others and pour it into your work, your business, or your relationships. Refocus on what makes your organization or life thrive and keep growing

•     Celebrate Who Stayed

Whether it’s your loyal employees, clients, or friends, shift your focus to those who are still by your side. They’re the ones who believe in you and your mission—give them your best.

•     Keep Building

Growth is the best way to move forward. Whether it’s personally or professionally, use every departure as an opportunity to reflect and improve. Maybe you can fine-tune your processes, build a stronger team culture, or develop new strategies to grow your organization.

The lesson is simple: Let people leave. Don’t waste time or energy holding on to what was. Focus instead on the opportunities ahead, the people still with you, and the growth waiting for you. The best revenge—or success—is a life and business well-lived.